RANT: Mac Rant | August 1, 2001 - 7:26PM
Ok, here's the deal. I have a Mac. Now mind you I love(d) my Mac. . .Until I tried to upgrade. I bought a 128MB chip of RAM through a mail-order catalog. . .The RAM came.... I tore apart my computer (anybody who's taken apart an iMac knows I'm not exagerating. . . I literally "tore" it apart) I looked around inside, poked my finger around and had a swell ole time. I found a RAM slot, took the old RAM out and slid the new RAM in. Huge problem, the RAM chip wouldn't fit. So I played with it for about 30 minutes, put the old one back in and decided to look for a different slot. So I took the processor's heat sink off, looked in there, put the heat sink back on, looked around some more. Finally I got around to looking under a metal cage that protects the processor. Well, low and behold, theres another RAM slot. . .So I'm like "allright, that's what I'm talkin' about. " So I slide the RAM in and it fits! So I thrown my computer back together (again not exagerating) and restart. I turn off my virtual memory ( virtual memory slows down your computer so that it can proccess more ) I reboot and there's this funky multi-color screen and a system error. So I tryed to reboot from a CD except the CD-rom except the CD tray is farther in then it should be. . . So I rip open the stupid lousy xomputer. . .fix the problem, shove it back together and reboot from a CD. 4 Days later I rip open my puter again ( I'm getting good at this ), rip out the logic board re-adjust the RAM chip ( this time following Apple speculations and throw my puter back together. I restart, turn off virtual memory and the screen of multi-color death is there. So I casually reboot from a cd-rom and try to turn on V-memory but according to the prefferences file, there IS NO VIRTUAL MEMORY. So I f$#@%@* lose it. I go off, cussing and yelling. . . I call my friend BorG the Mac geek. . .He tells me to restore my hard drive. Restoring is the equivelent of reformatting. I lose EVERYTHING. GONE. DOWN TUBE. FLUSHY FLUSHY BYEBYE. Then I really let my puter have it. . . .It works BUT NOTHING WORKS RIGHT. MY FILES DON'T MATCH THE SOFTWARE ( Because I had updated all my software. ) So I say to you. brothers. friends. colleugues. . .DEATH TO ALL APPLE EXECUTIVES, EMPLOYEES, TECHIES, FOLLOWERS, GEEKS, CODE POETS AND ESPECIALLY DEATH TO ENGINEERS AND STEVE JOBS. DIEDIEDIEIEIEIEIIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEDEIEIDIDEIEIDIE
thank you and goodnight
<(the josh)>
Rants by Josh: Mac Rant