- All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild.
- You think a CM200T cam-chain makes a nice bracelet.
- Your garage has better A/C than the house.
- Your garage has more square feet than the house.
- You refer to your garage as a "four bike garage".
- You find your tools in your bathrobe pockets.
- You can recite the torque values for 90% of the fasteners on your motorcycle's frame and engine.
- You know the valve clearances in all your bikes by heart.
- You have part numbers memorized.
- You can't use the sink because it's still full of carb parts.
- You've got more motorcycle parts in the dishwasher than dishes.
- You have service manuals for bikes you've never owned.
- You think your next tattoo should be a "torque calibration" on your elbow.
- You can ID the make and model of a bike just by the engine sound.
- People do not recognize you with a clean face.
- You have ever found a major problem by a sound you heard.
- Someone said you know "the trick" to removing/installing that.
- You have ever had to torque something more than you weigh.
- You've made corrections to your factory service manual.
- You trim your nails with a pair of safety-wire dykes.
- You look at a new bike model and wonder how difficult it is to change the tires, brake pads, etc.
- Your buddy's bike breaks down on a ride and you've got all the parts/tools to fix it.
- You can quote parts of the "Honda Common Service Manual" verbatim.
- You don't need no stinkin' tire machine to mount & balance tires.
- You own a tire machine.
- Your main interest in "Art of the Motorcycle" was seeing the evolution of "how they did things".
- You know who Kevin Cameron, Al Luddington, Jim Allen, Erv Kanemoto, and Jeremy Burgess are, and can list all the racers that Al, Erv, or Jerry have wrenched for.
- You're not allowed near the Snap-On Tools truck without adult supervision.
- You know the Tucker-Rocky catalog better than the parts guy does.
- You've had to explain how something works/comes apart/goes together to the shop tech.
- You've had to repair a buddy's bike after it came back from the shop. Your own bikes never go to the shop, of course.
- You can list all the steps and tools necessary to remove your carbs off the top of your head.
- You can tell if a bolt takes a 16mm or 17mm socket just by a quick glance.
- You own more than half a dozen Vise Grip variations, including the one for clutch baskets.
- You'll loan your closest friends money, but not your tools.
- You know what a "homogulation special" is, and how to make it run right on the street.
- Your month-old economy-size bottle of "Fast Orange" is only half-full.
- A guest asks "where's the hand soap?" - you point at the "Fast Orange" and she's not surprised.
- You play "spot the mechanical impossibilities" when looking at motorcycle art.
- The thing you drool over most on "American Chopper" is Vinnie's CNC machine.
- There are tire irons and a beadbreaker on your bathroom floor.
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